(and, yes, it is possible to feel more empowered)
As anyone who has been cheated on knows only too well, it’s not easy to heal from the heartbreak of infidelity and move to a place where you can be happy and regain control of your life.
The loss of a loved one can create such a void that you feel it will never be filled. It can feel overwhelming and unbearable. It can also be difficult to reconnect with your own identity after being one-half of a relationship for some time, potentially decades.
Co-authors of The MANScript , Julia Keys and Jacqui Coles shared their exclusive tips with GLAMOUR UK on how to thrive after infidelity.
- Don’t trap yourself in the past
Remember, life goes on regardless of whether you choose to move on into the unknown or stay trapped in the past wondering what could have been. Your energy is precious, don’t waste it on those who don’t deserve it, and don’t let life pass you by. It’s easy to get trapped by the past, but this is your chance to set yourself free; you owe it to yourself.
Don’t obsess about your partner and the other person. Each time you obsess about the relationship you disconnect from yourself. Your obsession can take away from your ability to open yourself up to new opportunities.
- Keep looking forward
Never let your future be controlled by what you have lost, but rather embrace the opportunity you have been given to make a better future for yourself. Often, things we dread are what makes us stronger. No matter how hard it is, you have to keep looking forward. Every day remind yourself that the past is the past, it’s time to re-focus on the present. You matter and you must keep looking forward.
Whatever happened has happened. Holding on keeps the pain alive – letting go releases it.
You owe it to yourself to let the pain go and create a space for happiness to come into your life. The longer you hold on, the deeper the resentment may become.
- Set yourself goals
Depending on where you are in your recovery, your daily goal maybe something as simple as getting out of bed. Goals will help you to keep moving forward. Implementing a few small changes can help you get to where you want to be. Take small steps towards each goal. Any long-term goals need to be broken down into achievable bite-size pieces. For example, if you need to buy food, just buy food for that day.
Remember, no matter how small, it’s important to celebrate all your achievements and reflect on how it made you feel. Share your success with people you trust. This will help to motivate you to keep going forward to achieve your bigger goals.
- Keep a journal
One of the best ways to deal with hurt and negative emotions is to write them down. As you progress on your road to recovery, you will be able to look back at your own words and see just how far you have come. It is initially hard to accept it, but being able to reflect on your own story will help you to realise you are stronger than you ever thought possible.
- Be your own best friend
The most important thing you can do is to take care of you. Ask yourself how you would treat a friend or family member who was going through the same thing? You would be kind, caring and tell them to look after themselves. That is exactly what you have to do now, but for yourself. You will manage your hurt more easily if you show yourself compassion and celebrate what is good in your life.
