Supporting those who didn’t graduate: A gentle reminder this season

Graduation season is upon us, and many are rightfully taking to social media to celebrate the fruits of their labour. It’s a beautiful thing to witness, years of hard work culminating in a moment of joy and pride.

However, amidst the caps, gowns, and glowing posts, there are students who, for various reasons, were unable to complete their course. Whether due to financial hardship, academic struggles, or health-related challenges, not reaching the finish line can be a deeply painful experience.

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For these individuals, watching their peers graduate can be a bittersweet moment, a painful reminder of what could have been. Left unacknowledged, this experience may lead to anxiety, depression, or in extreme cases, thoughts of self-harm.

So, how can we be present for friends, siblings, or loved ones who didn’t graduate this year? Here are four gentle and practical ways to support them:

1. Check in on Them

Sometimes, a simple call or message can make all the difference. Don’t feel the need to offer advice or emotional speeches, just be there. Let the conversation flow naturally and create space for them to share (or not share) what they’re feeling. Be a comforting presence, not a pressure point.

@natasha_girl45 I am holding on to the HOPE that in the future ill look back at this moment and see that God has turn it around for my good. #graduation2024 #sama28 #Sama28 #universityofbotswana🇧🇼 #botswana🇧🇼tiktok #jesuslovesyou #christian #christiantiktok ##viral #graduation2024 ♬ original sound - Justcompass

2. Plan an Outdoor Activity

Invite them out for a calming activity, perhaps a walk in nature, bowling, or a quiet picnic. The idea is to create space away from digital noise and social comparisons. Try to avoid crowded places where they might run into familiar faces or face difficult questions about their graduation status. Keep it light, enjoyable, and pressure-free.

3. Encourage Them Gently

It can be difficult to talk about what happened, but if the time feels right, gently open the conversation. Ask how they’re feeling about not graduating and how you might be able to support them going forward. Celebrate how far they’ve come, remind them that this isn’t the end, and if they’re open to it, suggest uplifting books, podcasts, or support groups.

Importantly, allow them to express their emotions without interruption. Listen first, then share your thoughts with kindness. If you sense they’re deeply struggling, don’t hesitate to encourage professional help.

@kellyintherealworld for anyone who isn’t graduating college “on time,” your degree completion time will not matter to anyone who is worth working for or studying under. taking an extra semester benefitted me in so many ways and i have never regretted it. i love you and hope you are doing okay 🤍 #college #study #graduation #university ♬ Falling Behind - Laufey

4. Give Them Space

While your support is meaningful, it’s equally important not to overwhelm them. Give them the room to process their emotions in their own time. Resist the urge to check in constantly—it may come from a good place, but too much can feel intrusive. Let them know you’re here, without crowding their emotional space.