If you’re brand-new to this type of sex toy, here’s everything to know to have an amazing time.
When you scarcely learn anything useful about the very basics in sexed, it’s unlikely anyone went out of their way to tell you how to use a vibrator for the first time. For most of us, you literally have to take matters (including whatever batteries you might need) into your own hands.
If you’re not sure what to do after you’ve decided it’s time you tried this kind of toy out, take heart: It’s actually not hard at all to use vibrators for their intended purpose (a.k.a. feeling amazing). Whether you’re looking to masturbate or use a toy with a partner, vibrators are the best—they can be an occasional fun accessory or a vital part of your sex life. Here’s how to find out for yourself.
1. Get a sense of the different types of vibrators out there.
How to use your first vibrator depends on what type of toy it is, so start by getting a feel for the basics there. I get it: There’s a lot to choose from out there, so much so that a lot of vibrator beginners might feel overwhelmed upon going to a sex shop or toy website and being like, “Whoa—too many options.” Promise you, though—that’s a good thing! Here are the main categories of vibrators to choose from. (Vibrators and other sex toys designed for penises exist too! But that’s a whole different article.)
External vibrators
This is any vibrator designed specifically to make the outside of your body feel incredible. People typically use them on their clitoris, labia, and vulva, but you can try them for external stimulation on any part of your body you like.
Some are larger wands, with big, round heads that cover more surface area and, often, powerful vibrations. On the flip side: Bullet vibrators are also popular because they’re small and discreet (great for travel, including bringing one to a partner’s house in your purse). If you want to start there, try the Mantric Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator. Finger vibrators like the Dame Fin offer targeted control and feel closer to hand-to-skin contact if you’re used to masturbating with your hands.
From there, some slightly less typical external toys are absolutely worth trying out in your bed too. The Satisfyer Pro 2 ( Amazon) and We-Vibe Melt ( Amazon) use suction and pulsing vibrations to mimic oral sex. The Zumio X ( Zumio) is a targeted clit toy that’s meant to mimic a circular finger motion.
Internal vibrators
You can put these versatile vibrators inside your body, whether you’re going for vaginal or anal penetration. (A lot of internal vibrators can also be used externally, but that’s not always true the other way around, particularly if you’re using a toy with a large head, like the ones on many wand vibrators.)
Vibrators designed for internal stimulation vary by size and shape. Some are curved or have bulbous ends for G-spot stimulation.
There are many different types of vibrating anal toys, too, including plugs, dildos, beads, and prostate massagers. All anal toys need to have flared bases or rings to keep them from getting stuck inside you—don’t use a vibrator without one inside your butt, ever, or you risk having it sucked in by your internal sphincter, as SELF previously reported. (Yes, this really happens. A lot. Ask any ER doctor.)
Dual vibrators, a.k.a. rabbit vibrators
These are also sometimes called rabbit vibrators because of their shape, which recalls two long bunny ears at the end (and because Samantha Jones was an iconic showboat about using a rabbit on that one episode of Sex and the City). They’re designed to get you off both internally and externally at the same time: Essentially, they’re insertable vibrators with an external arm angled to also hit your clitoris while the other part of the toy is inside you.
Many newer rabbit vibrators are adjustable and flexible to fit a range of bodies .But if you’re not feeling this: There’s nothing a rabbit vibrator can’t do that you can’t also achieve with separate internal and external vibrators, other than freeing up a hand.
Some notes on vibrator materials
What material your vibrator is made out of affects how it physically feels, what kind of lube you can use with it, and how to clean it. Ideally, you should take the material into consideration when choosing your toy in the first place, but it’s okay if you skipped that step—you can look up your toy online to double-check.
Silicone vibrators are among the most common out there. Their texture feels nice to the touch, and silicone is nonporous, making it safe and easy to clean. Another popular nonporous option is a toy made of acrylonitrile butadiene styrene (ABS) plastic. Other nonporous sex toy materials like metal and glass are less common in vibrators than they are in dildos, but they are out there.
On the other hand: Porous toys can retain bacteria even if you clean them, as SELF previously reported in a top-down guide to cleaning your sex toys. (That doesn’t mean you can’t use porous toys, like ones that contain materials called TPR or TPE, but if you want the option to easily sterilize your toy, stick to nonporous.)
No matter what, the general consensus among experts is that your toy should be phthalate-free, Howard says. Phthalates are a group of chemical plasticizers typically used to make plastics softer, so you usually spot them in jelly-like toys. Phthalates have come under fire for their potential to affect human health (the scientific jury is still out, according to the CDC) but in the name of “better safe than sorry,” you can easily find sex toys that are phthalate-free.
2. Read the instructions.
Okay, even if you’re eager to get your hot little hands on the toy itself, please make sure to read the little booklet that comes with it…. If not as the very first thing you do when you rip the plastic off, then sometime not too long after that. Your vibrator will usually come with a little booklet, including instructions for use and other important safety and maintenance information. In the very least, reading the instructions will give you a rundown of the controls. It’s useful to know, before you take it on a test drive, how to turn your vibrator on and off, as well as how to change between any different vibration patterns and speeds.
3. Do foreplay, even if you’re alone.
Even when you’re doing solo play, it’s nice to get into the mood, especially if you’re hoping to have an orgasm or two. Plus, it doesn’t hurt to loosen up and get some natural lubrication going. Either alone or with a partner: Set up the right lighting, playlist, and whatever other elements of your environment make you feel relaxed and turned on. Try touching your skin all over your body with your hand or toy before diving “straight to the center of the diamond,” as a friend of mine astutely refers to clitoral stimulation, or whatever erogenous zones you’re using your vibrator on. Watch or listen to porn, if that’s your bag.
4. Use lube, even if you’re not putting a vibrator inside you.
Plenty of things can cause vaginal dryness, and there’s nothing wrong with needing extra lubrication. In fact, there’s everything right with using lots of lube, whether or not you get wet on your own. Using sex toys in particular might make you feel a little dryer, since their moving parts and motors can generate heat that lessens moisture. The skin of your clit is also very sensitive, and dry stimulation might irritate it or just not feel that great.
When it comes to lube, you have three main options: water-based, silicone-based, and oil-based. The biggest thing to keep in mind when using lube with sex toys is whether your lube is compatible with your toy, as SELF previously reported. With silicone toys, avoid silicone-based lube, since that will erode the material of your vibrator. If you’re using condoms on a toy (more on that later), stay away from oil-based lubes, since that can degrade the condoms’ material and make them more likely to break. When in doubt, water-based lube is a solid choice.
5. Masturbate with a vibrator using techniques you already know you like.
If you already know what generally feels good for you in terms of masturbation, it can be helpful to start there. Consider what kind of stimulation usually gets you off: Is it external or internal? Are you using hard or soft pressure? Are you into being gentle or a little rougher? Going fast or slow as you stroke? You can use all that info to guide how you maneuver your vibrator, then experiment further from there.
6. Go slowly with penetration, especially of the anal variety.
If you’re going to use your vibrator for penetration, don’t be afraid to take it slow, especially if you’re not used to it. If you feel like you need to work up to putting a toy inside your vagina, insert your fingers first to get used to penetration before using the vibrator. This goes doubly for anal, which requires you to work up to it a little more—and use plenty of lube to avoid hurting yourself or just feeling discomfort. (Here’s more info about how to prepare for anal sex, with a toy or otherwise.)
7. Find the speeds and other settings that work for you.
A lot of toys have multiple settings, and that often allows you to turn up and down the intensity, speed, and/or pattern of vibrations. While it might be tempting to crank your toy all the way up (and you should totally do that when you’re ready to, even if that is, in fact, right away), you can also experiment with bumping up the intensity gradually.
Oh, and in case you’re wondering: No, you won’t damage your nerve endings or “desensitize” yourself to other kinds of touch, no matter how intense vibrations you use. That said, it’s possible to temporarily overstimulate yourself, which might mean you lose some feeling short-term. Again, that just comes with the territory of masturbating intensely or for a long time, no matter what you’re using. Don’t worry about any lasting damage.
8. Put a barrier between you and the vibrator if you’re sensitive.
While we’re on the topic of strong vibrations: Some people are more sensitive than others and might find even the lowest setting too overwhelming. Luckily, there’s a very easy solution to this non-problem: Just keep your underwear on. A thin towel works too! Once again, though, be mindful of the dry friction we discussed above, which can come into play if you go at this for a long time.
9. Use a condom in certain situations.
As SELF previously reported, sex toys can pass along STIs, so safer sex practices apply here. If you’re using a sex toy with someone outside of a sexually monogamous partnership, put a condom over your toy. Condoms are also key if you want to use a toy for both vaginal and anal stimulation (which you can do as long as the toy is safe for anal, a.k.a. it has a flared base). To avoid moving bacteria from your anus to your vagina or urethra (and risking vaginal infections like bacterial vaginosis or urinary tract infections, as SELF previously reported), use a new condom every time you’re switching holes—either between your own, a partner’s, or both.
10. Clean your vibrator after each time you use it. (Yes, for real.)
Sometimes, people think that if they’re only using a vibrator by themselves, cleaning it isn’t as big of a deal for their sexual health. And…that’s certainly true, in terms of STIs! But you can introduce pathogens and bacteria into your vagina if you routinely slack on cleaning your sex toys, as SELF previously reported in its everything guide to sex toy hygiene, so it doesn’t matter if you’re the only person coming into contact with a toy: If it’s going on or in your body, it should be clean, no matter what material it is or how you use it.
11. Do exactly what feels right to you.
As long as you’re following safer sex practices and communicating with anyone who might be using a toy with you, bringing a vibrator into the mix is totally your call, in terms of how to do it correctly. With a little experimentation, you’ll find what that feels like for you—there’s truly no wrong way to enjoy yourself here. Have fun with your new toy!
Original Article can be found on Self US
