Research done by a psychologist on behalf of Spotify in 2012 has resurfaced revealing the top ten songs people aged between 18-91 like to have sex to, and frankly, we were horrified.
Making the final list of ten were the likes of Boléro by London Symphony Orchestra (each to their own?), Unchained Melody by Righteous Brothers and My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion…
This got GLAMOUR HQ thinking about their own list of the worst songs to turn on as the lights go off and it sounds something like this…
undefined1. Je T’aime… Moi Non Plus by Jane Birkin and Serge Gainsbourg
Single worst song ever for first time sex. Sure, everyone wants to get into bed with Jane Birkin but if this is a new partner, steer clear. Just picture it, you’re concentrating on making sure he doesn’t clutch your wobbly bits and the most beautiful woman in the world is busy mystically orgasming through his speaker box…
2. Untitled: How Does It Feel by D’Angelo
Because, frankly, anything your man is doing will never be as erotic as what’s going on in this song.
undefined3. Killing In The Name by Rage Against The Machine
You may think you’re being carefree and dare we say ‘sexy’, but this WILL leave you bruised and not in the oh-baby-we’re-so-wild-we-did-it-everywhere kind of way.
undefined4. Orinoco Flow by Enya
Don’t get us wrong here, we’re huge fans of Enya. But some music is made for the bedroom and some is made for spas. This folks, falls into the latter.
5. Mr Boombastic by Shaggy
No comment.
undefined6. One Night In Heaven by M People
If you want to make your significant other (or one-night-stranger) cry with laughter, by all means, press play.
undefined7. Can You Feel It? by Jackson 5
Well, you’d hope so. The Jackson 5 absolutely excelled at songs you’d never want to get down and dirty to. Blame It On The Boogie? Shake Your Body To The Ground? Or how about ABC? The clear winner, though, has to be Can You Feel It? The pressure of hearing this line repeatedly whilst it climbs in tempo is enough to zap any trace of libido instantly.
8. Freak Me by Another Level
Sorry, but we’re not convinced you’ll be reaching another level with this. If you’re sexually aroused by the whining of a sub-standard boy band then you’re in luck. But the last time we checked, nobody wanted Dane Bowers to make their body hot.
undefined9. Give It To Me Baby by Rick James
It’s hard to actually decipher what the least sexy part of this song really is. Rick shrieking “sayyy whatttt”? Perhaps the aggressive trumpets or maybe it’s his breathy narrating of “how can I love you” over the top?
undefined10. Grind With Me by Pretty Ricky
If you have the moves of a professional dancer then by all means rise to the challenge, but Pretty Ricky groaning from the laptop telling you that your body is about to get weak is sorta a buzzkill.
Now that you know what not to play, it’s time to learn what not to say! You DON’T want to blurt out one of these 31 mood killers.
