For many women, the decision to return to work after giving birth is not just a professional transition—it’s an emotional rollercoaster. The joy of welcoming a new baby is often met with the stress of balancing career responsibilities and the guilt of leaving their newborn behind. Registered counsellor, Melissa Davids is here to affirm that she sees you
Noting that although every woman’s experience is unique, common emotional themes emerge as they navigate this major life shift. “One of the most overwhelming emotions mothers face when returning to work is guilt. The first morning of leaving a baby in the care of a nanny, daycare, or a family member can be heart-wrenching. Many women battle intrusive thoughts like “Am I abandoning my baby?” or “Will they forget me?” The fear of missing out on precious milestones can make the transition even harder.”
Melissa further enlightens that in addition to this, separation anxiety isn’t just something babies experience—mothers often struggle with it, too. “Checking in constantly, worrying about feedings, and wondering if their child is okay can make it difficult to focus on work. This phase can feel emotionally exhausting, but over time, routines and reassurance help lessen the anxiety.” Below, she unpacks the plight of the working mom postpartum.
The Pressure to Perform: Workplace Expectations vs. Motherhood
Returning to work often brings a mix of relief and stress. Some women welcome the opportunity to re-engage with their professional identities, enjoying the structure and sense of accomplishment. However, many also feel the pressure to prove themselves, fearing that colleagues or employers may see them as less committed due to their new role as a mother.
The expectation to "bounce back"—physically, emotionally, and mentally—can be intense. Many women struggle with sleep deprivation, hormonal shifts, and the emotional tug-of-war between excelling at work and being present for their child. The myth of “having it all together” can be both unrealistic and damaging, making it essential for mothers to set realistic expectations for themselves.
The Silent Battle: Emotional and Physical Exhaustion
The reality of balancing work and a newborn often results in deep exhaustion. New mothers frequently experience sleep deprivation, which can affect concentration, mood, and overall well-being. Juggling work deadlines, late-night feedings, and household responsibilities can feel like an impossible task, leaving many women feeling stretched thin.
Postpartum hormonal changes can also contribute to mood swings, heightened anxiety, or even postpartum depression. The emotional load of managing both professional and maternal responsibilities can lead to feelings of self-doubt and isolation. For many women, it’s crucial to have a support system—whether in the form of understanding colleagues, supportive partners, or fellow moms who can relate.
The Search for Balance: Finding a New Normal
As time goes on, many women find ways to create a rhythm that works for them. This could involve setting boundaries at work, prioritizing quality time with their child, and practicing self-care without guilt. It’s a journey of learning to accept that while perfection is unattainable, doing one’s best is more than enough.
Some practical strategies that help with the transition include:
- Establishing a solid childcare plan that provides peace of mind.
- Communicating needs to employers, such as flexible hours or remote work options.
- Allowing space for emotions—acknowledging the hard moments instead of suppressing them.
- Seeking support from other working mothers or joining mom-focused support groups.
- Letting go of unrealistic expectations and focusing on progress, not perfection.
Embracing the Journey
Returning to work after giving birth is a deeply personal and emotional experience. It’s filled with highs and lows, moments of joy, and periods of self-doubt. But as challenging as it is, many women find that they develop a newfound resilience, learning to embrace both their careers and motherhood in a way that works for them.
For any mother going through this transition—it’s okay to feel all the emotions. It’s okay to cry on the first day back, to miss your baby during meetings, and to redefine what success looks like in this new season. The journey may not be easy, but with time, support, and self-compassion, it becomes a little lighter with each passing day.
