Having a confidence crisis? Five women who’ve been there reveal how they got their groove back.
Visualise success
“I’ve always wanted to have my own company and yet, when I decided to start Angel Dust Management, I was terrified. This was a time for confidence, but I kept questioning myself. Did I have what it took? What if I poured my savings into something that failed? After much angst, it was thanks to my mom’s support and encouragement that I started using visualisation to get over my fears. I pictured myself as a success and kept reminding myself of what I’d already achieved. Creating positive scenarios calmed my nerves and I felt more capable. In retrospect, being fearful was good as it forced me to consider many factors before jumping in.” – Sihle Bolani, director at Angel Dust Management
Listen to loved ones
“After being fired from three jobs consecutively and my marriage falling apart, my confidence was shattered. I gained over 30kg, going from a size 32 to 42, in six months. I’m a brand manager, so image counts, and although I gave it my all at job interviews, the voice in my head kept telling me I was fat and would never succeed. Then one day, my mother told me to stop beating myself up, especially over my appearance. Her words made all the difference and I began to rebuild my confidence. Having someone who constantly tells you you’re beautiful and incredible is powerful! I now have a new job and am focusing on losing weight, but I won’t ever let the old thoughts and doubts get me down again.” – Nolu Mazibuko, brand manager
Be patient
“After graduating, I landed my dream job as a news reporter at Power FM. I immediately started benchmarking myself against the talented, experienced professionals around me in the belief this would help me do better. But the more I compared my work to other people’s, the more insecure I became. It was only when I acknowledged I was a beginner and started asking for help that I found my confidence again. It’s really OK to grow into your career instead of expecting to be brilliant from the start.” – Mallory Perrett , Power FM producer
Be kind to yourself
“Actresses constantly compete for roles and I became consumed by trying to be perfect – an obsession that destroyed my confidence. I became hugely self-critical, to the extent that I felt useless if other people won compliments. Eventually, when I couldn’t stand my own company, I realised I had to change my attitude or change my career. It took a long time to stop criticising myself, but I’d wake up every day, look in the mirror and tell myself I was a phenomenal actress. Whenever I was on set and the old insecurities struck, I’d go somewhere private and remind myself of my talent. I haven’t doubted myself since.” – Zakeeya Patel, actress
Focus on having fun
“I was always a top hockey player, but after moving towns, I went from the A league to the second-lowest team. I spent all my free time improving my skills, yet I still didn’t move up the ranks. I lost confidence in my ability and then stopped playing. But I realised that in focusing on becoming a sports star, I’d forgotten to enjoy playing the game. When the next season started, I headed for trials and this time my goal was to have a good time, rather than outshine the rest. It worked: I got into the B league and felt my old determination return.” – Alungile Peter, student
