In a world where everything is heavily curated, women are expected to show up as perfect daughters, wives and moms. Alisha Ramasar is going against the grain, unapologetically taking up space as her authentic self.
Picture Perf*cked is Alisha’s debut novel, and she shares that the inspiration behind the book stemmed from a desire to offer a candid look at the realities of motherhood, adulthood and womanhood. “By stripping back the veneers of preconceived notions and what is portrayed as picture-perfect moments often on social media. As a mother and wife, I've encountered countless situations that are messy, chaotic, and imperfect, yet, I’ve come to accept in retrospect that these experiences hold profound beauty and humour.” Adding that her realities provided her with a treasure trove of material, allowing me to share stories that are relatable and honest. “I wanted readers to see that they are not alone in their struggles and to celebrate the perfectly imperfect journey of life.”
Glamour: Your book seems to challenge the idea of living a "picture-perfect" life. What message do you hope readers take away from this exploration of reality versus perception?
Alisha: My goal really is to encourage readers to question the curated images of perfection they see in media and on social platforms. I want them to be reminded and appreciate that real life is messy, imperfect, and really quite beautiful in its crazy chaotic authenticity. By sharing personal stories and insights, I hope to inspire people to embrace their true selves and find joy in their unique journeys, rather than striving for an unattainable ideal. Ultimately infusing the mantra “it’s ok not to be ok”.
Glamour: You mention that your book is not a comparison of who has it better or worse. How did you navigate storytelling to ensure it resonates universally without falling into the trap of comparison?
Alisha: Well, to be honest, I had to be exceptionally vulnerable when writing this book. When I completed the book, I thought “Great, now let’s print 10 copies, give it to a few close (non judgemental) friends and tick that box off my bucket list.” Little did I know the book would be published in the UK and available worldwide. Feels a little like I’ve exposed a teen diary and hung all sorts of questionable laundry for the world to see.
Nevertheless, as time went on and something started becoming of my book, I realised that by sharing deeply personal and unique experiences, I could possibly connect with readers on an individual level. Personal stories tend to be more relatable and less prone to direct comparison. I also tried to focus on universal themes and struggles that many women in particular face. By applying a slight humours stance on topics such as “Xmas with your in laws”, and “Infertility, combined with the more serious realities of dealing with “Death” and “Postpartum Depression”Thereby hopefully helping readers see the commonalities in their experiences rather than measuring them against others.
Glamour: The title suggests a focus on women's experiences. Could you elaborate on why it was important for you to highlight these specific narratives?
Alisha: The title indeed underscores the focus on women's experiences because it reflects the pervasive pressures and unrealistic standards that women often face in society. Highlighting these narratives was crucial to shed light on the often unspoken struggles and to foster a sense of solidarity and empathy among readers. I aimed to challenge societal norms, provoke thought, and inspire change regarding how we, as women, perceive and judge our lives and bodies.
Glamour: Humour seems to be a key element in your approach. How did you balance the light-hearted tone with the deeper themes of acceptance and resilience?
Alisha: Balancing humour with deeper themes of acceptance and resilience was nothing short of a vulnerable process. Humour served as a gateway, making the heavier topics more approachable and relatable. By infusing light-hearted and authentic moments, I aimed to create a safe space for readers to reflect on their own experiences without feeling overwhelmed or judged. It really was about acknowledging the struggles while also finding moments of levity and hope. Maintaining this balance helped me to illustrate that humour and resilience often coexist, allowing for a more holistic portrayal of personal growth and acceptance.
Glamour: Can you talk about the role of community and support among women that inspired your writing? How do these themes manifest throughout the stories in your book?
Alisha: Absolutely! The role of the incredible women in my circle was pivotal to the storytelling. Taking some of their personal experiences and communicating it without necessarily having gone through it myself in certain instances. My inspiration stemmed from experiencing and observing the strength and resilience women exhibit when they come together to support one another, especially in the face of societal pressures and personal struggles.
Through various narratives, you'll find scenarios and character experiences that, despite differences, are able to form deep, meaningful connections. I wanted to highlight how communal bonds among women provided a massive source of strength. Truly speaking, the book celebrates relationships and showcases the importance of them in overcoming adversity and achieving a sense of self-worth.
Glamour: The book's disclaimer outlines what it is not. Could you explain why setting these boundaries was important to you in shaping the reader's expectations?
Alisha: Honestly, the disclaimer were words that spewed out of me when I first took pen to paper. I knew upfront what I wanted to create, without proclaiming to be any sort of expert. Hence, setting these boundaries, was crucial to me for shaping the reader's expectations because it allowed me to clearly define the scope and intent of the book.
Glamour: What advice would you give to women who might feel pressured to live up to societal expectations of success and perfection, especially in today's fast-paced world?
Alisha: I often have to remind myself of exactly what I’m about to tell you. So, this answer serves more as a mantra than a how-to. Bascially, we need to embrace imperfection and understand that perfection is just an illusion. We need to define success on our own terms. We definitely need to prioritise self-love and adopt self-care regimes into our lives. We need to surround ourselves with positive influences. Something my husband always reminds me is to practice mindfulness and gratitude. Lastly, id say with first hand experience and as an ex-judger myself - seek professional help if needed.
Glamour: How do you think your perspective on life and its challenges has evolved since becoming a mother and navigating the demands of family life?
Alisha: Gosh, becoming a mother was the most incredible thing I’ve ever done. It had shifted my perspective on life and its challenges. All of a sudden, it became about being the person my daughters need me to be. Being the Wonder Woman, they truly think I am. It took me some knocks, to finally reflect on my own insecurities that made me become more resilient, patient and appreciative of the small joys. Navigating motherhood and adulthood has been a roller coaster thus far, however it has definitely reshaped my priorities and given me a deeper understanding of sacrifice and unconditional love.
Glamour: What do you hope readers will feel after finishing your book, and how do you envision it making a difference in their lives?
Alisha: Well… I truly hope readers feel a sense of relief after reading my book. Relief in the context of realising “Its not just me” and “its ok to be my crazy self”. I hope readers will feel encouraged to embrace imperfections, redefine beauty standards, foster self-acceptance and realise the profound truth that no one is perfect. No one. Oh, and I hope they enjoyed the experience and had a few giggles along the way … at my expense! Haha!
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