Words by: Asanda Madi
While it is true that the person struggling needs to be in charge of their own recovery, there are certainly a number of things loved ones can do to help. Here are some tips to help with supporting loved ones through such illnesses:
1.Learn about addiction
It’s easy to miss the signs right in front of you if you don’t know what it is, you’re looking for and it’s also very dangerous to wait until there is complete dysfunction to get help.
2.Offer support and approach situation with care
Again, don’t wait for rock bottom until you say something. The individual might be defensive. Thus, it’s natural to be afraid to approach the situation and confront the individual especially if you’re also afraid to offend them.
3.Compassionately listen to them with your full attention
Sit up straight, choose an appropriate venue and let them speak until they have expressed all their thoughts.
Remember the person you’re talking to is a whole person and addiction is just one issue they are facing. Try to remind them of their positive qualities.
4.Encourage them to seek professional help
The earlier addiction is treated, the better. However, don’t be surprised if you’re met with denial or excuses as to why they can’t or won’t seek treatment. Be persistent about how important it is that they receive treatment for their addiction. However, avoid making them feel guilty or ashamed in the process.
Try an app like Recovery Africa for exactly this reason – you can fill out one simple, free clinical assessment to assist you in finding resources near you.
5.Support recovery as an ongoing process
Try to not become detached and try to write them off as someone else’s problem. Remain involved, continue supporting their participation in ongoing care, meetings and recovery support groups (as much as is possible). Be the support system they need and show them that you’ll be there every step of the way. It really does make a difference and additionally gives them a reason to keep pushing when they hit a hard wall.
6.Take care of yourself
Make sure your own needs are met. This can be achieved by ensuring that you get enough sleep, exercise and eat well. Don’t be afraid to go to therapy if you need too as well.
7.Avoid giving lectures
Lectures also include emotional appeals that may increase the feelings of guilt and subsequently the compulsion to use substances.
8.Avoid taking over their responsibility
When you do this, it shields them from the consequences of their behaviour – making appointments for them, calling them incessantly to ensure how they’re doing and if they haven’t relapsed.
Additionally: Try to not trick the person into receiving help and respect their privacy especially if it is an adult.
9.Focus on building trust
If an addicted person has already betrayed your trust, regaining and maintaining it can be tough but this is also essential in not only their recovery but also for improving your relationship with the person.
10.Set boundaries
Communicate that you have their best interests at heart but that you also will not put up with just anything. Without your enabling behavior as a safety net, they might seek help sooner rather than later.
