Book Review: Unf*k Yourself

Based on the self-empowerment offering by best selling author of Stop Doing That Sh**t and Do The Work. In his latest book, Unf*k Yourself, Personal Development expert, John Bishop Gary helps you to move past self-imposed limitations with his honest, no-nonsense, tough-love approach

Chances are, you’re reading this article because you’ve found yourself in a rut and are struggling to see beyond your current situation. As a life coach and NLP practitioner, I get it! People usually come to me when they find themselves in the stuck-state, and I think this book is so apt in helping you get out of your own way. The principles the author touches on are at the heart of NLP so I’ve compiled an 8-step guide to help you get uhm…unstuck.

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Let go of limiting beliefs

You’re in the stuck state because a series of decisions led you here, and at the core of it, lies your belief system. Your beliefs will either be the reason you fail or succeed so it’s important to ask yourself the hard questions so you can ultimately check yourself. Do you believe that your idea of success is attainable or are you setting yourself up to fail based on someone else’s definition of success? Who are you in relation to your dreams? These are the questions that will lead you to goal setting and visualising your future self.

Give yourself permission to live your best life

Do you have a clear visual image of your best life? Who is the future you? Get specific about the action required to step into your best life. Do you need to upskill to get that job? Do you have to sign up for a business 101 course to pursue entrepreneurship? Or maybe you need to take a self-development course to help build your confidence. Whatever needs to be done, do it! Your future self will thank you for it.

Pay attention to the negative-self talk

What kind of conversations are you having with yourself? If you’re constantly berating yourself for past failures or telling yourself that you’re not good enough when faced with new challenges, then it’s time to elevate the conversation. Ever heard of positive affirmations? If you haven’t been good to yourself then it’s time to start filling your love tank with positive affirmations. The mind will believe what you tell it so if you tell yourself that you’re awesome enough times, then you’ll start to notice it in how you show up to the world. Whenever you notice the negative thoughts creeping up then quickly replace them with more loving ones. When you build yourself up, you’ll also notice that the relationship you have with yourself improves.

Skip the pity party

You are likely justified to feel the way you do and you find comfort in sharing your pain with others. You’ve probably told your story a thousand times but chances are, after the pity party, people go back to their own lives, and you’re still stuck. By all means, you deserve that apology but what if it never comes? Does this mean you’ll keep recycling the pain and finding excuses to stay stuck?

Take control and prioritise yourself

If you’ve been waiting to be rescued then you probably don’t want to hear this but you’re the only person responsible for your own happiness so it’s time to show up for yourself.

You can start by forgiving yourself for giving away so much of your power and honor yourself with acts of kindness. Self-care will help you to tune into your wants and needs. It can be as simple as acknowledging that you need some time to cry, to meditate or to read a book. It’s all about YOU.

Disrupt yourself

It’s easy to get caught up in a cycle of toxic habits, especially when you’re on autopilot. The most common excuse is that “It’s just the way I am”, the awesome thing about being human is that we are adaptable creatures so change is possible. So the next time you catch yourself doing the same thing but expecting different results, stop yourself in your tracks and ask yourself, “how does this serve me?”

Be intentional

Be deliberate about how you spend your time, where are you investing your time and energy? If you spend a lot of time on social media then make sure that what you’re consuming adds value to your life. Follow inspirational people, and download audio books that will help you feel more empowered and less anxious. Look around your happiness table to see who is just taking up space. And be mindful of the level of conversations you’re engaging in.

You’ve got this!

When you’re on your A-game and are serious about getting unstuck, you are destined to win because ultimately, your attitude will determine the outcome. If you show up with a can-do attitude then it’s easier to build resilience in the face of adversity. So get out of your own way, put your best foot forward and get the bag!