Following `a successful launch of our Glamour Book Club in August, we caught up with Poet, Anthropologist and Author of ‘The Soft Life’ over IG Live for a recap on her book.
The launch of the Glamour Book Club kicked off on a high note in the Mother City. And author of The Soft Life Lebohang Masango was amongst the panel of inspirational women. She gave context to her book during her address and she also encouraged women to raise the bar when it comes to their dating life. We had a Q&A on the day where we touched briefly on the book, a decision based on the fact that guests were gifted with a copy of her book so we didn’t want to drop any spoilers.
Club members had a month to get stuck in so Thursday was all about unpacking ‘The Soft Life’. I usually read self-help book so whenever my daughter spotted me reading Lebohang’s offering, she’d ask, “mommy, how does it feel reading about the soft life?“ She thought her mama was in there getting all the tips but that’s not what this book is about. More than anything, it’s about perspective, and this is my biggest takeaway. What also stood out for me is Lebohang’s writing style; her writing is accessible, something I genuinely appreciate. And she provides context to the character’s views. ”To understand some of the motivations for these young women’s desires for moneyed, romantic partners, we must understand South Africa as they experience it, especially through COVID-19.“
These are some of the lines from her book that became talking points during our discussion:
“It’s almost expected for black women to be content with less than what others have, and ‘The Soft Life’ is about rejecting the trope of womanhood that is burdened, overworked and overwhelmed.” Expanding on this she affirmed black women that it’s ok to want more for ourselves, to evolve, change our minds and honour our agenda. We are introduced to Lihle, Jolie, Nomonde, Bongi and Camila who embody these values.
One can’t help but be inspired by these women’s agency, and in th book, Lebohang notes that “Lihle and Jolie are prime examples of grown women who use their agency to set standards for their romantic relationships and can easily decide to leave when their expectations are not met.”
We also unpacked the idea of existing in reality of abundance. The common thread between these women’s stories is that they believe in abundance hence they’re not afraid choose themselves. Fear breeds a lack mentality which then leads to making choices that don’t serve us.
At the core if it’s about the freedom to design the type of lives women envision for themselves, “the young women featured in this book are unapologetic about the importance of partners who pull their weight and make greater financial contributions than they do,” enlightens Lebohang.
Lebohang was in her element during the live, and shared that she’d like to venture into relationship coaching, and as a life coach myself, I see how she could excel in this space. The conversation was fruitful, and I asked her to share her top 5 dating tips as a parting gift. Ladies, you’re welcome!
1. Don’t call or text EVER! (You’re the prize ladies).
2. Don’t settle for a coffee or ice-cream date EVER! Elaborating on this point, she said it’s important for men to take you seriously from the get go.
3. The man should always cross the room for you. Your job is to look cute and be approachable.
4. On the date, don’t tell your business. If your intention is to build an emotional connection, note that there’s no vulnerability on dates 3-5. And remember to listen more than you speak so you can collect enough data to make an informed decision.
5. Leave at the first red flag! (Need I say more?)
Purchase your copy of The Soft Life from www. loot.co.za and join the conversation.
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