We cannot overhype the importance of discussing what you do and don’t like in bed — and we don’t just mean sexually. Turns out, a survey from the team over at Leesa (that mattress company you might recognize from their collaboration with West Elm) suggests that a couple’s bad bedroom habits—from hogging the covers to playing around on an iPhone — can affect their sleep quality and their overall relationship. (Looking at you, cover snatchers!)
After polling 983 people, the results covered everything from annoying “bedtime bothers” to who’s calling the shots between the sheets to the specific rules that are being laid down.
You can read all the findings here, but we’ve highlighted the few that we found most fascinating below.
1. Don’t Fight in Bed
We’re sure you’ve heard the adage “Don’t go to bed angry” before, so you won’t be surprised that it ranked as the number one commandment for people in the bedroom. In second and third place respectively, we have “No food or drinks in bed,” and “Stay on your side of the bed.” Breakfast in bed is such a cute concept, but in reality, bacon grease is difficult to get out of Egyptian cotton.
2. So, Who’s the Real Boss of the Bedroom?
Interesting to note: 75 percent of survey participants claimed they’d never created any bedroom rules with their significant other. More interesting to note: Of the 25 percent who did, women had more say and were more likely to initiate rules than men. (Though, thankfully, the majority of respondents said bedroom rules were decided upon in mutual agreement!) Most interesting to note: Even though they weren’t as involved in establishing rules, men were actually more likely than women to say that they attempt to change their partner’s behaviour if they notice he/she isn’t following the rules. If women are more likely to lay down the laws, but men are more likely to enforce them, we guess we’re all bedroom bosses in a way.
3. A Fourth Of Couples Argue About At Least One of These 15 Annoyances
For the extra curious, here’s a breakdown of fifteen irritating bedroom bothers, in order of what was agreed upon by the most participants and by gender:
4. Say Goodnight to Your Partner After You Say Goodnight to Your Phone
The survey asked how often people’s last interaction of their day was with their partner versus their phones, and then compared those responses to overall relationship satisfaction. Guess what? People who reported dissatisfaction were more likely to have their last communication of the night with Instagram or a texting recipient, as opposed to the person sleeping next to them. What we’re inferring here? If you start to notice some hiccups in your happiness as a couple, right before bed is the time to put your phone down and talk about it.
5. Sleeping Separately Might Mean Better Quality Shut-eye
If you currently share a bed with someone who suffers from restless leg syndrome, foghorn snoring, insomnia, or any number of sleep-sabotaging conditions, you can attest to this survey’s findings that 47 percent of women and 36 percent of men sleep better when their partner isn’t there. But what you may not have predicted is that almost a third of women and a fourth of men actually said they’d be willing to sleep separately from their partner if it meant sweeter dreaming. What’s more, five percent of women and 2 percent of men already bunk alone.