You’re in a committed relationship with your partner, but all of a sudden you can’t stop thinking about your sexy colleague at work. Are you cheating? Are you a bad person? What’s going on?
Having thoughts about people other than your partner isn’t as unusual as you might think and you may even develop crushes outside of your relationship, too. The difference between being in a relationship and being single is how you act on these feelings. So if you’re thinking about potentially taking things a step further, here are some points you might want to consider first.
Take a step back
Don’t do anything! Affairs are usually born out of impulse, with no rational thought attached. If you give yourself the space to breathe and reflect on the situation, you may find yourself less willing to cheat than you may have thought.
There’s a reason why you want to cheat – you need to find out what it is. Are you bored with your partner, is your relationship in a rut, has your sex life flatlined? Whatever the reason, drill down until you find it and then either fix it if possible or end things altogether.
Think about the consequences
Because there will be consequences. Being mindful of the worst case scenario could help put you back on the straight and narrow. But if you’re only cheating because you hope your partner will find out and end things, you know what you have to do.
Avoid temptation by minimising contact with the person you’re crushing on. Don’t have private conversations with them, don’t text them (or stop if you’ve already started) and don’t see them unless absolutely necessary. Having them out of sight could help you get them out of mind.
Talk to your partner
You don’t have to tell them you’re thinking of cheating, but you do have to acknowledge that there’s a problem that needs to be resolved. Perhaps you can mend fences, perhaps you can’t, but at least you won’t have had an affair. You’re better than that.
You’ve caught your BFF’s partner cheating. Now what? Find out how to deal with this awkward situation here.