Ah, womanhood – so many of your realities are universal truths for every single one of us. It’s nice to know we’re not alone in our struggles. Here are the 12 moments that are practically a prerequisite for being a woman.
1 Heroically breaking free from the shackles of your bra at the end of a long day
You’re never aware of your bra… until you take it off and realise this is how life could be, always.
2 Having a minor freak-out when your period pranks you by showing up a couple of days late
You’re pregnant, right? You must be pregnant. Even though you’ve done absolutely everything to guard against it, and you know it’s physically impossible.
3 Trying on something too tight and having an actual panic attack when you can’t get out of it
Oh, no, will the shop assistant have to come into the changing room and help you? Maybe if you try to pull it down over your hips instead of lifting it over your head… WAIT, NO, THAT ISN’T WORKING AT ALL.
4 Only being attracted to people who are taken, famous or gay
Even if you wanted to make a move, you couldn’t, because (tragically) Trevor Noah is kind of a celebrity and, you know, also doesn’t live here anymore.
5 Using dry shampoo until your hair is so crunchy that it’s practically a helmet
If you have stubborn hair, you know that washing it isn’t as simple as stepping in and out of the shower. No, cleaning your hair takes work. Who can blame you for not being in the mood, and drowning your hair in the miracle that is dry shampoo? Anything to make being a woman a little bit easier.
6 Redoing your simple ponytail 34 times because, for some reason, something is just not right
Your boyfriend is clearly lying to you when he says that your 12th ponytail attempt looked exactly the same as the 13th, and, no, it does NOT look fine, it looks like a disaster.
7 Sitting in the salon chair with wet hair and a plastic cape, wondering if you’ve always looked this terrible
Look, even though we’re gorgeous, it is a fact of life that the hairdresser’s chair was created to make every woman hate herself. And speaking of hairdressers…
8 Smiling at your new haircut, telling the hairdresser, “I love it”, then going home and crying
Don’t worry – we’ve all been there.
9 Letting your leg hair grow out during a particularly long, cold winter
Hey, if you’re single (or in an LTR), of course you’re going to slack off with the grooming. Guys who complain about shaving their faces have no idea what it’s like to have legs with stubborn, dark hair during the summer. Plus the extra layer keeps you warm.
10 Trying a beauty tutorial and failing more epically than you ever dreamed possible
How? How has a simple YouTube tutorial about strobing become so irrevocably derailed? Someone pass the cotton pads and makeup remover, please!
11 Giving your nails approximately 1 200 hours to dry, and they still end up smudging on your top
There is a type of sorcery at work that none of us will ever understand, but must learn to accept.
12 Struggling with The Dreaded Cramps
It’s been scientifically proven that some women’s cramps are as painful as an actual heart attack. And yet, we still have to deal with men eyeing us like we’re exaggerating the pain to get off work early. No, guy. You just try being a woman for a while. The debilitation is real.
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