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Excerpt: My Journey in Black and White

Lenah’s Mashiya’s anthology of contemporary poetry, My Journey in Black and White, covers an array of topics that we all experience and question, such as love, heartbreak and the meaning of life. Lenah’s down-to-earth style makes her work relatable, whether or not Shakespeare and Byron are your cup of tea. Check out this sample of her inspiring work, or click through to read an interview with the Lenah.

I am still online

What would I do when I’m done?

But I’ve been online for so long;

How will it be like to be seen as ‘one’

When all I know is not being alone…

Am I sure I want to log off?

 

You see…

My heart has ran out of data

My soul won’t connect to WIFI

I lost myself when I lost my saviour

Lost connection to my lifeline

I want to be with the man

I asked God to love

Yet detachments grew us apart

Like the separation of two continents

I’m on the other side

Instead of being content

His heart was filled with pride

He never visited or even replied

To my hearts yearning to be by his side

Am I sure I want to log off?

 

I’ve been online for so long

My eyes are starting to burn

But not as much as my heart hurts

Been staring at this post

Hoping for a response

Yet all I get is a few likes without a reply

Question is not when, it’s why

But I’m still online

 

Signal is too weak

Must be the weather

Reported is a storm of unanswered phone calls

Followed by windy ice cold presence

Ending the day with isolated endeavours

But I’m annoyed and that I won’t deny

I wasn’t sure, now I know why

I can’t hold on any longer

I’m running with my heart into the storm

Confused is my mind, I’m torn

The connection is weak

Signal has broken down

Gone astray is peace

All because I wanted you around

 

I wanted sunny skies of meaningless conversations

Followed by warm comfortable hugs

Ending the day with goofy happy faces

But someone pulled the plug

It’s all the same, there was no signal

Our connection died and I ran out of data

I could go on about how I need this man…

But lying to the world is not my plan

At first he was an accessory to the band

Then I wanted to need him but can’t

He doesn’t complete me, no man can

I love the Lord more anyone can imagine

So this is it…

The ground has received the seed

We’ll wait through another season

I’m logging off

Social networks are just not for me!

 

Time is my medicine

 

I don’t get it

Please help me understand

If Heaven is so amazing,

Then why do you want to stay here?

Waste your money on life saving machines

When Heaven is the exact depiction of a dream

It’s beautiful, its paradise

But you would rather stay here and drown in lies?

You’d break, fall, hurt and call it life?

 

I don’t get it

But maybe because I’m in my youth

I’d rather rejoice in the sky

Than accept the false truth

So please, when I’m dying;

Don’t try and save my life

I’m not the type to commit suicide

But I’m not trying to justify

At the same time,

I won’t just sit and let life pass me by

Because if I had a chance of going to heaven,

I certainly wouldn’t waste earthly time

 

I don’t get it

One hand washes the other;

I guess that’s why we have two

Then why hurt a brother

Just to get your way through?

I don’t understand

The life of give and kill

Replace in order to fulfil

The work of Satan just to get a deal

To sugar-coat the bad,

When we all know its evil

I don’t get it

I probably never will…

 

Why watch pain and suffering

Of poverty stricken people?

When you could be an angel

And give a cure to the crippled

Watch diseases spread like corruption

Watch greed, anger explode; eruption

 

I still don’t get it

I live a life…

Where trusting is earning

Meaning has been deprived

No longer earning before trusting

Where trust is taken without warning

And success measured by earning

How can the result of trust be so disappointing?

Yet the point of earning only exists for a moment

When earning is securing for life;

You maturing

When you spend your life naturally mourning

We hurt, we’re wounded

And then trapped in suffering

All these negative forces

My heart is healing now

Time is curing…

 

 

Deceit in this world

Who lied to me?

I was sold dreams indefinitely

I continued to live falsely idiotically

But surprisingly

I love the curiosity

That builds in people’s minds amazingly

Yet patiently I wait undoubtedly

That I will find my prince charming waiting for me

Not artificially, but joyfully

 

My God helps those who help themselves, gracefully

So watch me help me, without disbelief

But faithfully

I won’t cry reminiscently

But happily live abundantly

I won’t lead misguidedly

But fortunately with overgrown prosperity

Honestly…

Who lied to me?

Who actually lied to me?

Was it the world boastfully?

Or was it my heart gullibly

He who lied to me lied to themselves foolishly

Mathematically, two negatives results in positivity

Thus simply two lie’s equals to honesty?

They lied pathetically!

But triumphantly, I don’t want to be the casualty

I want my future growth, relentlessly

I don’t have the keys to the door

But watch me!

I am breaking free!

For a copy of My Journey in Black and White(R150), send Lenah Redirile Nooi-Nooi Mashiya an inbox on Facebook.

Courtesy of Lenah Mashiya

 

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