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How to give a good lap dance

Words: Danielle Pergament; Photography: Gallo/Getty Images

February 14, 2014

2012 L'Oreal Melbourne Fashion Festival - Day 3

By the world’s greatest lap dancer, Dita Von Teese…

Start with the perfect outfit.
A skirt-and-blouse combination is ideal. You want the top to button up the front so you can get out of it effortlessly. Your shoes should be high and easy to slip off.

Wear the right lingerie
Black lace with black garters and stockings looks hot on every woman. I like bikini briefs over a thong, so you have yet another layer to reveal. Put the thong on first, then the garter, and then the panties.

Turn on some Nina Simone
‘Feeling good’ is foolproof.

And now the show begins…
Grab a stable chair and place it about 1.5m in front of your audience. Sway your hips to the music, and touch your hair, neck and hips with small, delicate gestures. Is there a slit in your skirt? Can you tease a bit of cleavage?

First goes your top – one button at a time – and then your skirt. Unzip slowly and deliberately. Now saunter around the chair, snap a garter, bend forward and show him your cleavage.

Then the bra… slowly slide one strap down your shoulder. Maybe slide it back up. Make it count. Now the other strap. Turn around and unhook your bra while glancing back over your shoulder. Hold the bra over your breasts, with your back to him. When you’re ready, remove the bra slowly. Drop it on the floor, fling it across the room, or toss it lightly to him.

Next come the panties… turn away from him, bend over a little and peel the panties down just below your butt. Stop. Look back at him with a tiny smile. Now take them all the way down, leaning on the chair with a hand for stability. As the panties reach your ankles, sit down and untangle them from your heels. Then saunter over and give him the panties.

The rest of the evening is up to you…

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How to give a good lap dance

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